Loser

[Adolf Hipster]

Hey fearless, this might be a little off topic, but I need some help. I'm currently 13 years old and about to enter 7th grade. (yeas I failed a grade, but only because I tried virtual school because of what you're about to read, and virtual school didn't work out, so my dad repeated me.) I currently have ZERO close friends, a few friends, but plenty of acquaintances. none of my friends are girls, and in fact, i've never dated.I've always been an awkward person ever since I was in about 5th grade.. for some reason I had a hard time making friends, and when I did have friends, I had an even worse time keeping friends. ironically, before middle school, I had plenty of friends and was well-liked. I dont know what the **** happened but all of a sudden some of my friends gradually became my enemies and picked on me and got new kids to pick on me. I've had problems starting conversations with people and just dealing with my shyness. In all of middle school so far, I've ended up with NO friends . I made few friends in general, none of whom were close. I was picked on and humiliated constantly, MOSTLY by HONOR students. towards the end of 2014 , i was almost completely obsessed with this game called Garry's mod.. like, i would spend at least a few hours per day playing it on my PC. I don't tell anyone about it, as I've always thought of myself as relatively normal, since at least thats how I was when I was young. but over the years, things have just been getting worse. In addition, during this age of playing Gmod, i thought i had finally made some middle school friends. Turns out, they were just ****ing using me. I had slight suspicions that they were doing so, but I didnt realize it until one of the bullies actually mentioned how one of the other bullies were definitely using me. so I ditched those ***holes, and haven't found a group of friends since. In addition, I am pretty fat. I'm 5' 8" and weight 15 stone. I get a lot of insults for that as well. I see people with tons of friends, talking and I think in my head "Why is not being a loser too much to ask". I need some help here, because this is the only place I feel as I could say something like this without some ***hole beating up on me, or making me feel like an idiot, and even worse when people make me feel like an idiot in front of everybody. I need some help.

[MacTavish]

I don't know how to help you but say "World is harsh,and it is becoming harsher and harsher every second of your life".

[alexxx]

Few tips.
Use these in your life.
"The meaning of life is to reproduce, but the meaning of your life is to do what you want with it."

Ignore what anyone thinks of you, do not get confused with hatred between criticism, improve on the criticism and not on the hatred.
- In other words, don't give a shit.

Don't be someone you're not.

Standing tall/looking someone directly in the eyes gives a higher possibility of them doing what you say.

^Use this to stop doing that damn walking dance thing, looking someone directly in the eyes and walking straight towards them forces them to move.

Attempt the gym, I have a guy at school who used to be chubby, he is now the most musaclince person in school.



Last but not least, check /adv/ on 4chans, its anonymous and people will give you advice, most of it will be like mine but better.
goodluck have fun

[Ms. Mudpie]

I've been through pretty much all you've mentioned; no friends, social anxiety, got picked on a lot. All I can really say is "hang in there" - the 13-16 age range is the worst time ever for everyone, but once you get out of middle school you can throw everyone you met there out of your life for good.

[Safira]

I don't always go inspirational, but when I do, YOU'RE GOING TO F*CKING LISTEN.

Stop punishing yourself. You did nothing wrong.
People are total arseholes, and you're better off not knowing them.

I'll tell you one thing though. Keep your head as high as you can, because the douches mentioned above will feed off your discomfort.
Don't think you're the only one who feels like sh*t. My group of friends are friends because we all collectively hate people. Not just individuals; people in general.
I'm not sure about the grade system for you, but I presume middle school is Year 5,6,7,8?

Year 7 and 8 are the years when everybody wants to change who they are. People who you were close with would rather have a shot at being with the 'Populars'. As I said earlier. Screw them all.

Not everybody hates you. But if you feel like they do, and show that, what do they see?
They're gonna see a kid who's depressed all the time and doesn't want to 'belong'.
That's not who you are, but that's what they're gonna see. So come the beginning of school, you put all the sh*t that's happened to you to the side and you act like everything's fine. You walk into the room, maybe smile (I don't even know if that's cool I'm sorry), and you say hi to the ones you know.

At the end of it all, Middle School won't mean sh*t. Hell, High School won't mean sh*t. The sluts popular girls who prioritise Instagram and Duck Faces are going to exit school realising they haven't accomplished crap.
The guys who are dicks are going to have to face the real world without their little gang to boost their self-esteem.

Just because you've been picked on before, doesn't mean that's going to be how your life is for the rest of your life.
You think you're fat? Run around the track couple times a day.
You think people use you? Don't let them walk on you.
Your life could be a whole lot different this year. You just have to act like it.

The title of your thread sums it all up.
Who wrote the title? You wrote the title.
Change that f*cking title.

[Davidson]

Kid, I'm going to be a little cynical here. However see it as tough love.

Start doing Martial art and/or Boksning. It gives you confidence knowing that those who bully you that you can beat them. Plus in a martial club you can't help, but to create a social bind Unless you yourself are an as shoe which wasn't my impression.

When you have started this and it still dosn't help... start over, find a new school (I recommend boarding school depending on your country) and pretend to be some else.  Pretend to be the outgoing gut, the calm and funny kid... a clever man ones said "Fake it till you make it". If you want to change you can, it's just really hard to change in a place where you already have a role. Find a new school where nobody know you and make a new personality. There is nothing wrong with it and nothing cowardly about. 


Source: Majority of psychologist recommend this and have scientific backing.

[Conn]

I know how you feel, do you have any aspirations in life? if you do, aim to do them, don't think about what others say, and do, if you want to do something, do it, and you can prove everyone wrong about you.

[Nevy]

I'm going to be straight-forward with you and not say "who cares what other people think" or post some really inspirational quotes.

Personality Issues:

• You are shy, so was I at your age and up until I was about 18 years old. I think my shyness was because I didn't have confidence in myself. I never really was the person to start a conversation, unless of course it was with someone that I knew for many years. Throughout Middle-School, which you are currently in, I could count the number of friends I had on one hand. In High School it had been the same. I never really had a best friend though, not one from school at least.
  

Weight Issues:

• I am going to be honest and say that 210 pounds (15 stone) at 5'8 is above what is typical for that height/weight. You are only 13 years old and you need to start making better choices and getting exercise in order to lose some of that weight. Not only is it going to be healthier for you in the long-run but it is also going to raise your self-confidence and possibility help with your shyness. An appropriate weight would probably be around the 160 pounds (11.5 stones). All I can really say for this is to make smart eating choices and exercise daily. Make goals for yourself and try and achieve them, maybe put a goal to lose two pounds a week. Doing exercises in your free time is something that is going to require motivation and you need to take that upon yourself to doing. Sit-ups are a great exercise to do when you wakeup, during the day and before you go to bed. Search YouTube for some exercise videos and tips and you will get all the information you need. Just a couple minutes a day, increasing the time/repetitions every day. Push your limits and you can do it. 
  

[[FL:RP] Fela]

Let me tell you a small story:
I am 14 years old and i used to weigh about 78KG. I never wanted to pass 80 KG's, EVER. So, fuck it.
I started on a home trainer which was in my parents bedroom ( Weird place to put one ) and whenever i looked in the mirror i became more and more motivated. After a while ( about a month ) doing the same thing, every day i lost about 2 kilo's. Not much, is it?
Enough is enough, you know it. I bought some running shoes and shorts. Every week i used to run about 5 kilometres once, twice and sometimes three times i week. I started to drop the home trainer thing since it became a cardio thing which didn't do much for me anymore. Running took over and it felt GREAT. Make sure you loose enough weight before running so you don't damage any parts of your body. Take it slow and take pauses. Ever heard of a runner's high? ( Read an article here: http://www.lehigh.edu/~dmd1/sarah.html )
You weigh about 95 kilo's and your Body Mass Index would be about 32. ( Very unhealthy! ) Don't think that exercising sucks, the achievement of a runner's high feels the same as an orgasm. I soon started to absolutely love sports. It completely turns around your life.
Now, I am not a nutritionist or whatever they call it ( dietrician? ) but i can give you some tips / hints that worked for me:

1. Preferably do not eat bread, cheese, other sweets such as chocolate etc. No cake or NOTHING.
2. Eat normal portions and don't fill up your belly in the evening too much. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!


Follow this image.

3. Exercise ( not necessarily daily but make sure you're not on your ass all fuckin day )
4. (OPTIONAL) Quit gaming for a period of time. This is what i did. I had weeks of time and i started to get bored, this way i got more motivated to run.
5. Drink water, this isn't only healthy but water gives you much needed energy.
6. Masturbate once every week, sperm cells have alot of eggwhites and much needed vitamins. The production takes up alot of those.
( This also helps against zits / spots on your face )
7. Talk to people, this doesn't have to be in real life. Just make sure you get some connections and a group of people you can rely on. This doesn't have to do anything with losing weight but it's just a tip.
8. DO NOT GIVE UP, YOU LAZY BASTARD.

Face the facts as everyone does. You can change the way you look.
Bullies? Fuck bullies. Ignore them as much as you can or face them. I still remember when i kicked my bully in the face about 6 times untill he cried and begged me to stop. Don't take shit from people that don't like you.
It's not about being musled or like the pictures you see on the internet with the models these days. It's about getting fit and feeling comfortable with who you are and your physical condition.

Update: I now weigh in on 65 kilo's, building body mass in the gym. My height is about 1,76 metres.

[GeorgeTheBoy]

It's a tough thing to explain but to put it simply:

School years don't mean anything when it comes to life in general.

People really think the friends they made in school will continue to be friends after school? Heh, maybe 1 or 2 at most. Even the ones you spoke to everyday for years will no longer be considered a friend.

You will make real friends at college and at work as those are people who actually share the same interests as you to the point that they wish to study and work in that field of interest.

Now, if you feel unhappy about your appearance than do something about it. There is SO much information out there to help you feel better about yourself and to make improvements.

Honestly though, you will forget most of your school years. What you will remember are the more important milestones that happen throughout your life so just put up with the shit you're getting and wait for the better things to come.