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04-15-2012, 11:48 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-01-2022, 01:01 AM by Fearless Community.
Edit Reason: Checked Encoding
)
So yeah, here we go. xD (I'm in a rant mood!)
This'll date from the big bang to present
-
So here we are.. Some huge explosion just went off completely deafening me. Fuck the timemachine i've been building for the last 2,000 years.
So it all started when the big bang went off did it? Well my time machine says different and somehow I ended up creating the world. Life and death as we know it, water air and all those funny colours and such that you see as you grew up. (unfortunately i also created whiny and annoying 5 year olds screaming down the mics of garrys mod players, sorry!). So i bet your wondering how the almighty Cuddles created the world? Well i'm going to explain how i started everything
So i went back in my time machine to just before time itself began, How? Well build a time machine and find out!
I went so far back in time the whole nothingness i was in exploded into great balls of fire thus causing a relapse in the space/time continuum making me get propelled so fast through a wormhole i entered into the lands of the dinosaurs, so at this point i'm like "oh fuck, my head what the hell just happened?" So i get up after about 5 minutes of tripping out thinking someone gave me acid or some shit. I pass out again and encounter the first dream the world has ever experienced. I spoke to the almighty, the lord and the holy clouds of his, He spoke to me and said in his booming voice "Well Cuddles you had to fucking go and build this time machine of yours didn't you? You've just fucked up the whole universe and galaxies and since your now the epic creator and the first entity to even be alive before time, This means you control every single thing even down to how dust settles."
God attempts to smite me with his powers but since i'm the almighty now i was like "umadbro?!" and proceded to grab a chainsaw that was strategically placed in my palms and ran at him severing his arms and legs off before generously crushing his head with my foot.
So i wake up once again and i'm now god, i fast-forward time to the Year 34, It's just desert for miles and there's 11 people walking through the desert with no hope so I swoop down on my chariot of angels and greet all 11 men, they say to me that they haven't drank or eat anything in days and any longer with no nourishment they will die, I being the kind sir, teleport to the land you know as Africa and take all the water, food, trees and grass and just put it where the 11 men were standing, I named it Greenland. At this point they haven't got food yet, only the materials to create food, They ask me "God, I'm starving throw us down some munch, lad!" So in good will, I send down in a nice little ASDA carrier bag some bread and water.
Everything seems to be going well at the moment, being god and all i fast forward to 28 July 1914
So here i am, 28th of July and it's WW1, So i'm thinking to myself how the fuck did i let this happen? Possibly due to my days and nights creating awesome robots on Garry's Mod. So what do i do? I teleport to Archduke Franz Ferdinand and we're just talking about like, how did this happen, what caused it? and he's said to me "It just happened and since I can't do things straight forward and i have to have as much power and land as possible". At this point I've already facepalmed numerous times. So at this point I decided being god and all, to just nuke the shit out of Germany and say It was the Allies till they gave in... plan worked until the Germans decided they had unfinished business!
Again, i fast-forward time through civil wars and stuff that doesn't bother me and Germany is at it again, trying to dominate the world like Pinky & the Brain with all their fail experiments with the unfortunate jewish people
So i arrive and the date is April 30th, 1945 and me and Hitler are just relaxing and maxing out in his bunker and we're smoking some marijuana that I paid for! So I say to Hitler "Yo, Hitler lad, make us a joint!" and he replies and says to me "nein Cuddles, I can do what i want now i have so much power" So in a tremendous rage I flip a table and dramatically pull my pistol out and casually shoot him in the arm, not realizing that I accidentally pulled out my Shotgun that happened to be next to my pistol and conveniently blowing Hitler into about 1,000 different pieces with some shotgun rain.
A few minutes later and i'm still stood there looking at the remains a once powerful dictator and his wife runs in, she looks at the remains of her once loving husband splatter against the walls and floor of his bunker, she looks at me and at this point i'm like "Shit!" So i draw my shotgun and take her head clean off with some more shotgun rain. Proceeding into the Bunkers kitchen the dog comes in and was like "Cuddles i'm hungry, Make me some food."
I can do anything, therefore I can speak to Animals, I'm god! lolz
I say to Blondi (Hitlers Dog!) "Okay Blondi, Heres some food!".
Blondi died 15 minutes after, Poisoned by my awesome powers of the almighty.
I'm getting tired now so i'll probably continue another time, let me know what you think. O.o
Please note; This was all thought of and typed out in about 45 minutes
This'll date from the big bang to present
-
So here we are.. Some huge explosion just went off completely deafening me. Fuck the timemachine i've been building for the last 2,000 years.
So it all started when the big bang went off did it? Well my time machine says different and somehow I ended up creating the world. Life and death as we know it, water air and all those funny colours and such that you see as you grew up. (unfortunately i also created whiny and annoying 5 year olds screaming down the mics of garrys mod players, sorry!). So i bet your wondering how the almighty Cuddles created the world? Well i'm going to explain how i started everything
So i went back in my time machine to just before time itself began, How? Well build a time machine and find out!
I went so far back in time the whole nothingness i was in exploded into great balls of fire thus causing a relapse in the space/time continuum making me get propelled so fast through a wormhole i entered into the lands of the dinosaurs, so at this point i'm like "oh fuck, my head what the hell just happened?" So i get up after about 5 minutes of tripping out thinking someone gave me acid or some shit. I pass out again and encounter the first dream the world has ever experienced. I spoke to the almighty, the lord and the holy clouds of his, He spoke to me and said in his booming voice "Well Cuddles you had to fucking go and build this time machine of yours didn't you? You've just fucked up the whole universe and galaxies and since your now the epic creator and the first entity to even be alive before time, This means you control every single thing even down to how dust settles."
God attempts to smite me with his powers but since i'm the almighty now i was like "umadbro?!" and proceded to grab a chainsaw that was strategically placed in my palms and ran at him severing his arms and legs off before generously crushing his head with my foot.
So i wake up once again and i'm now god, i fast-forward time to the Year 34, It's just desert for miles and there's 11 people walking through the desert with no hope so I swoop down on my chariot of angels and greet all 11 men, they say to me that they haven't drank or eat anything in days and any longer with no nourishment they will die, I being the kind sir, teleport to the land you know as Africa and take all the water, food, trees and grass and just put it where the 11 men were standing, I named it Greenland. At this point they haven't got food yet, only the materials to create food, They ask me "God, I'm starving throw us down some munch, lad!" So in good will, I send down in a nice little ASDA carrier bag some bread and water.
Everything seems to be going well at the moment, being god and all i fast forward to 28 July 1914
So here i am, 28th of July and it's WW1, So i'm thinking to myself how the fuck did i let this happen? Possibly due to my days and nights creating awesome robots on Garry's Mod. So what do i do? I teleport to Archduke Franz Ferdinand and we're just talking about like, how did this happen, what caused it? and he's said to me "It just happened and since I can't do things straight forward and i have to have as much power and land as possible". At this point I've already facepalmed numerous times. So at this point I decided being god and all, to just nuke the shit out of Germany and say It was the Allies till they gave in... plan worked until the Germans decided they had unfinished business!
Again, i fast-forward time through civil wars and stuff that doesn't bother me and Germany is at it again, trying to dominate the world like Pinky & the Brain with all their fail experiments with the unfortunate jewish people
So i arrive and the date is April 30th, 1945 and me and Hitler are just relaxing and maxing out in his bunker and we're smoking some marijuana that I paid for! So I say to Hitler "Yo, Hitler lad, make us a joint!" and he replies and says to me "nein Cuddles, I can do what i want now i have so much power" So in a tremendous rage I flip a table and dramatically pull my pistol out and casually shoot him in the arm, not realizing that I accidentally pulled out my Shotgun that happened to be next to my pistol and conveniently blowing Hitler into about 1,000 different pieces with some shotgun rain.
A few minutes later and i'm still stood there looking at the remains a once powerful dictator and his wife runs in, she looks at the remains of her once loving husband splatter against the walls and floor of his bunker, she looks at me and at this point i'm like "Shit!" So i draw my shotgun and take her head clean off with some more shotgun rain. Proceeding into the Bunkers kitchen the dog comes in and was like "Cuddles i'm hungry, Make me some food."
I can do anything, therefore I can speak to Animals, I'm god! lolz
I say to Blondi (Hitlers Dog!) "Okay Blondi, Heres some food!".
Blondi died 15 minutes after, Poisoned by my awesome powers of the almighty.
I'm getting tired now so i'll probably continue another time, let me know what you think. O.o
Please note; This was all thought of and typed out in about 45 minutes
![[Image: source.gif]](https://wsrv.nl/?url=media.giphy.com/media/Ld0P4AdeSDjoY/source.gif&w=1920&h=1080&fit=inside&n=-1&we)
