UBR - memeSake

[ShadowPurple]

Posting on behalf of memeSake...

Your name: memeSake

Your SteamID: STEAM_0:0:22447309

Your ban ID: 75876

Banned by: [FL] Feffe

Reason: Homophobic insult in @ chat

Involved: Myself, Feffe and Spear.

Why we should unban you: First off, let me explain the situation. I thought me and Feffe were friends.. and we'd had banter before - just yesterday I was messing around with him over mic in game, so I didn't think he'd react this way to the situation at all.. It’s the same with Spear, who I also insulted, and do so often because we’re friends and we get on great..

The reason for this ban, is that I said over an @ call, and I apologise for repeating it but obviously it’s required for the request: “FeffeFag and StinkySpear I need you guys to spawn me vehicles for my car dealer RP” – or something along those lines. It’s called banter and everyone else understands this. I am in no way homophobic at all and I explained this to you Feffe, but instead of having a normal conversation you just ban me for 7 days… This ‘insult’ was not public, and only you saw it. 

So when I made an @ call – I wasn’t trying to insult Feffe, and Feffe knows this because I explained this to him. Feffe explained to me that he was gay and I apologised straight away saying that he’s a friend and I wouldn’t insult him, I just didn’t know he was gay. The only reason ‘cigarette’ was used was because I just picked any random insult beginning with F (as his name does), the same as I insulted Spear. Spear also knows this isn’t a straight up insult which is why he didn’t ban me either…

Feffe, I really considered us friends to the point that I don’t know what the hell just happened…

I have made SoulRipper aware of this as well as Spear and between us we can’t really figure out why this ban had to be made…

If a friend of mine ‘insults’ me and he genuinely didn’t realise it was a personal subject, I wouldn’t react in the way you did Feffe, and neither would most people.

All in all; I just hope we can move on from this – I don’t think a 7 day ban is reasonable, and a simple warning would have been enough. I thought you were my friend Feffe and you should know that there was no hatred of malicious intent behind my words, my banter.

[Feffe]

Hello,

You claim you thought we were friends. Well, none of my friends has ever called me a "fa**ot" before.

As you may know, being racist, homophobic etc, is allowed IC, but it is not tolerated in OOC. You however, sent an @ call (@ calls being OOC) with the sentence;

v33x [17:48:04] [FL:RP] memeSake (STEAM_0:0:22447309) said: @ Feffefaggot or StinkySpear I need someone to sspawn vehicles for car dealer RP

And as the rules state;

1.13 *UPDATED* You cannot be racist, sexist, and discriminatory (homophobic) OOC (Out Of Character).

5.6 Do not swear excessively, argue or insult in OOC chat, and do not write caps-locked messages.

The word you used during my "nickname" there is a highly offensive and homophobic word, which I will simply not tolerate. If you are unsure what the word is and means, you can read about it HERE.

The exuse of it being simply banter does not matter, as it is still an offensive and homophobic word. It would be the same as if you were to walk up to a black man and call him "ni**er", for then to laugh it off and claim it was only banter. It would still be offensive non the less, and still strictly forbidden, according to the rules of the server. You have 287 hours on the server, and should know better then to use this kind of word, whether it be banter or not.

Players used to receive several weeks, even a month, when they used this kind of language on the server in the past. You however, received 7 days, which is more then fair, and I see no reason why this ban should be removed or shortened.

[ShadowPurple]

Posted on behalf of memeSake:

Well I did apologise to you Feffe. I explained that I didn’t know you were homosexual and sincerely showed my regret. It’s honestly childish that you’d act in such a defensive way.

Apparently, no matter the clear intent – you’d rather take it as a personal insult rather than banter which you know it was.

You’re lucky that I didn’t have Shadowplay on yesterday when you were insulting me as part of our banter. Because according to you – even though we had banter going on, that means nothing and I can at any point take offense and post a staff complaint against you, and as per your own logic – you should be punished.  That’s basically what you’re saying.

You quote two rules, one of which is irrelevant. I did not post this in OOC chat. @ calls are OOC, but that doesn’t make it the OOC chat. If you’re muted from OOC chat, you can still use @ chat…
“5.6 Do not swear excessively, argue or insult in OOC chat, and do not write caps-locked messages.”  As a staff member, you should know this and this rule in more detail and it is not relevant to this request.

Your reaction to this is pathetic quite honestly. I had friendly intent towards you. I considered you a friend of mine and don’t even know why you’re so offended.

You also mention about how if I was to walk up to a black man and call him n___ … but that’s out of context. You’re insinuating that I am walking up to a random black guy – meaning I don’t know them and it would of course be obvious that they are black… however with you, you are supposed to be professional as part of the FL staff team, I thought we were friends and I did not know you were gay. So it is totally different to some random black guy. To take this stance is frankly quite disappointing. Sorry if I didn’t know that you couldn’t take banter.

As from what you’ve said, and that even though you know my friendly nature and intent here you think I deserve to be banned – I would like you to apologise for any and all insults you gave me yesterday, because you insulted me and that is not right for a staff member for Fearless RP. I would advise you to not insult others if you cannot take it yourself. I knew you were saying stuff as a joke and being friendly, but that clearly doesn’t count for anything anymore, right?

As from what you said – I actually do have friends irl where racial slurs, insults and so on are used – both from me and against me. It’s called friendship and we all know it’s not intended as a real insult.

[Spear]

I know for a fact, memeSake did not mean to be rude towards you Feffe nor against me. His intention was absolutely not to make anyone upset. It was only a banter which might have been inappropriate but absolutely not ment to upset you. From what I've heard and read above, you and meme had a banter yesterday, insulting eachother as a joke. However, as memeSake did use one homophobic slur today I completely understand why you gave memeSake a punishment but I would rather have him warned as his intention was not to break any rules and he did in no way mean to insult you. I personally think a warning should have been given instead of a ban. Now you are in fact the banning administrator and I will not take action here, letting you handle the unban request. I am just stating my opinion. Hopefully you are willing to give memeSake a chance. I'll let you decide Feffe

Thanks

[Feffe]

Why do you keep referring to yesterday? I have not had any "banter" with you.

If I did, I'd like to ask you what you think I did? Cause I can honestly say I have never really spoken to you before, unless during admin calls.

Therefore, I'd like to know what you are referring to, as I spent most of my day yesterday with friends on Teamspeak, like I always do. I can happily call in witnesses to confirm as well. So please tell me. What is it you think I did yesterday?

[ShadowPurple]

Posted on behalf of memeSake:

Ironically, the reason you probably don’t remember is because it’s natural. Nothing out of the ordinary. Normal… friendly… banter.

I don’t remember the exact words either, because once again, it’s normal. Like I’ve already said, and just as Spear above me has said too – a 7 day ban is too much, and a warning would be enough.

Either way, from unbiased views and everything, take yourself out of your shoes and evaluate this situation.

You’ve gone from having me, a guy who meant well and was happy with you, was being friendly with you with no malice – to me now being banned and you showing me such hostility just because you feel triggered from an “insult” that was obviously not meant to upset you…

I understand, trust me I do, that you don’t want the word used against you, but I sincerely apologised to you before you banned me and I explained I didn’t know you were homosexual.. but instead of giving a warning like most people would do, and what Spear had mentioned above, you went ahead and banned me. As soon as you came I showed regret and apologised after finding out that you were homosexual...

I’m asking you to just lift the ban. If you’re not seeing this from such a biased point of view I think you’d agree that I’m simply some guy that was being friendly towards you and just messing around – but you chose to continue to see the insult and malicious even after I apologised and explained myself.

There are things that a mature person does and what a person who is an administrator should do. You are supposed to be a role model of the community, and as such you have a responsibility. You’re showing everyone that you ban first, ask questions later. You didn’t properly let me explain myself as even when I was talking to you explaining everything – you were already typing the ban message. I have years of experience in administrating servers much larger than this one and Soul knows this. I’m sure he trusts my judgement and even he knows that I am not one to start going around intentionally insulting people to upset them. Spear knows this too.

You’re not actually addressing the issue, you’re simply deflecting everything.

And I finish this reply with one simple message, as you like to post exact definitions as if I don’t know what I’m saying: Definition of homophobic: “having or showing a dislike of or prejudice against homosexual people.” Therefore, by pure definition – and as I have no dislike or prejudice against homosexual people, I have not broken the rule you have banned me for. You have chosen to take it this way even though I myself have explained that it was a mere misunderstanding, as well as what other admins have said.

Just lift the ban, we can talk about this like adults and just give me a warning – that is all that is needed. This was a mistake, that’s all. I did not intentionally cause offence.

[Feffe]

Hello,

What you seem to not understand, is the fact that the word "fa**ot" is in fact a homophobic slur, which you should know is a zero tolerance in OOC. This also includes using that kind of language in @ chat.

Also, what you also do not seem to understand, is that Spear is not the banning admin in your case, I am. 

And as such, I have discussed your case with several other staff members, which all agree that the ban is within reason.

Denied.