FUMUKU International

[D0ctor]

I remember those melons and a certain training incident in the prisons, and peoples propensity to kill all the melons even the hostages!

Please find attached my personnel file for FUMUKU Int. record keeping.

Spoiler :

Zaeed Massani FUMUKU International personnel file.

Name: Zaeed Massani.
Security Clearance: C
Specialization: Reconnaissance, locating targets of interest, security, detention, interrogation, paperwork, missile battery construction, filing reports, sarcasm.
Site of operations: FUMUKU Int. HQ, FUMUKU humvees, restrooms, FUMUKU transport units, anywhere with a comfy chair.
FUMUKU operations involved in: Removal of a dictatorial government without killing anyone, security contract for presidential security, operation build a rocket battery, FUMUKU blackout operations x 3, FUMUKU find operations x 12, assisted in construction of new HQ, operation build detention cells.

Profile: Z. Massani is a low level FUMUKU security officer most often seen assisting in various capacities notably advising on tactics. He possesses a preternatural ability to spot suspicious activity, and a sarcasm filter which is obviously broken. Prone to bouts of megalomania and paperwork, he is efficient if not unnerving as a co-worker. If left to his own devices, particularly odd occurrences are infinitely more probable. For instance one day at FUMUKU Int. HQ, he was left alone by Mr Malkrin for a period not exceeding 84minutes. He was instructed to maintain security and left to it. On Mr Malkrin's return he noted the addition of 2 quad cell automated long range missile systems to the property, and a comprehensive if not psychologically damaging detention cell had been constructed. When questioned where these had materialised from, Massani was found to be wearing a cactus as a hat sitting in his underwear in the office, whilst singing ''what is love'' doing paperwork. His only reply being, ''Security, I was bored'' at this point the missile system obliterated a seagull that had perched on top of a FUMUKU vehicle, said vehicle was also obliterated. This anomalous behaviour only occurs when Massani is left unobserved for a period of longer than 13minutes. At no point is he to be left unsupervised or bored, due to the sheer insanity which will result, or the psychiatric bills for D-class personnel, anyone remember his recreation of El-Alamein whilst wearing a FUMUKU flag as a cape? He is also the self appointed director of FUMUKU Legal services even though no such department is recognised within FUMUKU Int. nobody has thought to challenge him on this due to the fact all the legal work he has created benefits the company and keeps him occupied. The missile battery still exists, although pigeons have been exterminated in a 30mile radius.

Yours faithfully Z. Massani, director of FUMUKU legal services, I.D 3514

HAHAHA it it bad i just sat at my computer laughing at this for about 5 minutes? How the hell do you come up with this!!!!