send help

[Rozzok]

Ring your ISP and follow these steps.

1. Immediately be mad, but not rude.
2. Explain the problem
3. Lie about it and tell them you've tried every fix they provide
4. Complain further
5. Threaten to switch Internet Service Provider due to the current issue
6. Probably get a free upgrade/fix depending on who your ISP is.

Congratulations, you've just got a free internet upgrade.
You're welcome.

That's ridiculously risky, considering I live out in the boonies and this is the only internet provider here other than satellite ( oh god no. ) i'm afraid.