I am depressed...
#31
(11-11-2019, 09:11 PM)RoCKy Wrote: Hello Fearless Community,

I have been thinking of this now a very very long time if i should publish my personal issues. And well.. looks like i am doing it now.
I am currently writing this and still thinking if i should. But if you read this... well then of course i published my personal issues. So yeah.. I am 15 years old and currently going through a hard time. I am very happy that i joined this community. I learned very much how to deal with some issues. I got to know many people all over the world just because i play this game called "Garrys Mod". 
I am not sure why i am in this depressive-phase currently but yeah..
I think i should start with the beginning:
I joined the Fearless Community 2015/16. And now i am standing here as a Teacher. That was one of my biggest dreams when i joined this Community. Look.. i made it. But well... There was much time before i got Teacher. 
As said.. i got to know many other people. I dont really want to make a list because i would maybe even forget someone and i dont want to hurt anyone here. 
But how did i even get into this depressive-phase?
Well i am not sure actually. I met someone on FL who changed my life 180°. I mean.. i think so. But he changed it into a positive direction.
He was the first person who knew my biggest secret. He started giving me money and stuff for no reason actually. And then he added me on steam. I felt bad. I was sad and i had no other people to talk about my personal issues cause i was stupid and didnt trust my real-life friends... So after a while me and him started chatting and i told him my biggest secrets and from this point on... i got into a depressive-phase. I was sad, he was sad. I had to support him.. well i dont know if i had to but. I felt like that he needs support. I gave all my support to him but i was still depressed. I got bad in school and my life turned into a very very dark time. I went on parties a lot and always came home feeling bad and ill. After some months writing with him... he got a boyfriend. We didnt write that much anymore. And i felt sad again because i thought he would forget me or anything like this. 
So i didnt have anyone to talk about my issues/problems.
But i had very big luck and met someone else. I think it was like a second chance. I am thanking this person very much that he supported me all the time. And that he was all the time with me when i needed him. (I also met him on FL)
There is just one more problem. Even if i get supported i still feel depressed and i am scared to tell my friends or my family. I am always scared of their reaction. All in all... i thank everyone who supported me and everyone who will still support me in future. 
I am happy that i found this wonderful Community. And i will stay here a long time. 

Thank you.
In German cuz he is my faf rock 
 Also was du wissen musst wenn ich dich anpöbele ist das meißens spaß also nimm mich nciht immer erst ich kann deine situartion verstehen aber warum hast du nie was gesagt ich mag dich wir kennen us jetzt seit 4-5 jahre ich will nicht wissen wv Da du kennst von mir und hast mich immer suportet auch wenn das machmal nicht rüberkommt ich bin dir dankbar für alles die ganze geile zeit kills raids sits farmen usw auf dich wa immer verlass ich mache immer gerne was mit dir blos ich habe meißens das gefühl das du nicht zocken willst aber egal das einzigste was du dir merken musst egal was ich oder irgend wer sagt du weißt das du es bessermachen kannst sei es das du nicht so gut pvp bist . hast du mir und ander bewisen wie es ohne bänne geht bin dir dankbar für alles  die zeit mit brot stone allem die geilen aktionen du warst immer für mich da jetzt wirds es zeit das wir für dich da sind wirst immer rocky sein der witzigsten lostesten sympatishten teatcher den fl hat und dafür solten sie dankbar sein [gebe nen fick auf RS]
Sry 4 typing in eng but its personal to me
The following 1 user Likes Aimware's post:
  • RoCKy
#32
(11-13-2019, 11:53 PM)Aimware Wrote:
(11-11-2019, 09:11 PM)RoCKy Wrote: Hello Fearless Community,

I have been thinking of this now a very very long time if i should publish my personal issues. And well.. looks like i am doing it now.
I am currently writing this and still thinking if i should. But if you read this... well then of course i published my personal issues. So yeah.. I am 15 years old and currently going through a hard time. I am very happy that i joined this community. I learned very much how to deal with some issues. I got to know many people all over the world just because i play this game called "Garrys Mod". 
I am not sure why i am in this depressive-phase currently but yeah..
I think i should start with the beginning:
I joined the Fearless Community 2015/16. And now i am standing here as a Teacher. That was one of my biggest dreams when i joined this Community. Look.. i made it. But well... There was much time before i got Teacher. 
As said.. i got to know many other people. I dont really want to make a list because i would maybe even forget someone and i dont want to hurt anyone here. 
But how did i even get into this depressive-phase?
Well i am not sure actually. I met someone on FL who changed my life 180°. I mean.. i think so. But he changed it into a positive direction.
He was the first person who knew my biggest secret. He started giving me money and stuff for no reason actually. And then he added me on steam. I felt bad. I was sad and i had no other people to talk about my personal issues cause i was stupid and didnt trust my real-life friends... So after a while me and him started chatting and i told him my biggest secrets and from this point on... i got into a depressive-phase. I was sad, he was sad. I had to support him.. well i dont know if i had to but. I felt like that he needs support. I gave all my support to him but i was still depressed. I got bad in school and my life turned into a very very dark time. I went on parties a lot and always came home feeling bad and ill. After some months writing with him... he got a boyfriend. We didnt write that much anymore. And i felt sad again because i thought he would forget me or anything like this. 
So i didnt have anyone to talk about my issues/problems.
But i had very big luck and met someone else. I think it was like a second chance. I am thanking this person very much that he supported me all the time. And that he was all the time with me when i needed him. (I also met him on FL)
There is just one more problem. Even if i get supported i still feel depressed and i am scared to tell my friends or my family. I am always scared of their reaction. All in all... i thank everyone who supported me and everyone who will still support me in future. 
I am happy that i found this wonderful Community. And i will stay here a long time. 

Thank you.
In German cuz he is my faf rock 
 Also was du wissen musst wenn ich dich anpöbele ist das meißens spaß also nimm mich nciht immer erst ich kann deine situartion verstehen aber warum hast du nie was gesagt ich mag dich wir kennen us jetzt seit 4-5 jahre ich will nicht wissen wv Da du kennst von mir und hast mich immer suportet auch wenn das machmal nicht rüberkommt ich bin dir dankbar für alles die ganze geile zeit kills raids sits farmen usw auf dich wa immer verlass ich mache immer gerne was mit dir blos ich habe meißens das gefühl das du nicht zocken willst aber egal das einzigste was du dir merken musst egal was ich oder irgend wer sagt du weißt das du es bessermachen kannst sei es das du nicht so gut pvp bist . hast du mir und ander bewisen wie es ohne bänne geht bin dir dankbar für alles  die zeit mit brot stone allem die geilen aktionen du warst immer für mich da jetzt wirds es zeit das wir für dich da sind wirst immer rocky sein der witzigsten lostesten sympatishten teatcher den fl hat und dafür solten sie dankbar sein [gebe nen fick auf RS]
Sry 4 typing in eng but its personal to me
Awwww <3
Danke für diese Worte. Ich fühle mich jetzt auf jeden fall wieder besser. Ich melde mich bei dir wenn ich mal wieder schwierigkeiten habe Smile. Hab dich liebbbb
Und ja... aim und so kann man ja noch trainieren haha Cheese

Thanks for those words. I'm feeling better now. I'll contact you when I have some personal issues again. I love you
And yes ... aim and so on can still be trained haha.
[Image: WbmV7IO.mp4]
#33
(11-13-2019, 11:36 PM)Predator! Wrote: I have depressions, too. Kevin's steps to have a better life without depressions are really helping. It was already 1 year ago. Some people laughed about my depressions, some people didn't even care about me (Never needed attention but I didn't want to talk with my parents about it). I was alone for several months, heard a lot of music which killed my good vibes. The only thing that helped me in hard times were my interests in sports or in religion. Find something you like, then you may find new friends with the same interests.
<33 I am happy that i have friends like you, who support me in any kind. I am also happy if i can help you with your depression. I am always happy if i can help Smile
[Image: WbmV7IO.mp4]
The following 1 user Likes RoCKy's post:
  • Predator!
#34
I am currently reading your support-texts again.. and if i wouldnt be in a bus i would cry.. <33 thank you everyone! I love you all
[Image: WbmV7IO.mp4]
The following 2 users Like RoCKy's post:
  • , Denn1s
#35
There's currently a campaign going on in the Netherlands trying to raise awareness against depression, social anxiety and other mental disorders and all I can tell you is to talk about your issues with people.

You need to make the people dear to you aware what kind of state you are in and you should seek professional help together with them if possible.
Again, all you can and should do is talk about it with the people close to you. It helps. Trust me.

Stay strong and I hope you manage to fight through this difficult time. 
You're a great guy and it'd be a shame for Fearless to lose someone as supportive and positive as you in the community.
Regards,
 
[Image: mEVbpdN.png]
Thanks to Envy for the signature.
The following 2 users Like Yonno's post:
  • RoCKy,
#36
(11-14-2019, 05:36 PM)Yonno Wrote: There's currently a campaign going on in the Netherlands trying to raise awareness against depression, social anxiety and other mental disorders and all I can tell you is to talk about your issues with people.

You need to make the people dear to you aware what kind of state you are in and you should seek professional help together with them if possible.
Again, all you can and should do is talk about it with the people close to you. It helps. Trust me.

Stay strong and I hope you manage to fight through this difficult time. 
You're a great guy and it'd be a shame for Fearless to lose someone as supportive and positive as you in the community.
Oh wow... that makes me feel happy again Smile. I am a very emotional person and when people write a text like this to me.. i could cry of happiness. Thank you Yonno for your support and i will try to speak with other people about my personal issues in real life even if its hard to speak out in real-life :/
[Image: WbmV7IO.mp4]
#37
dude nice!
The following 1 user Likes Cygnus's post:
  • RoCKy
#38
Even though people you meet on FL are probably never to be seen IRL,it's good to have someone to talk to and who understands you.

Personally I would suggest to search help IRL, it would probably be the easiest way to accept your problems and work on them. It's also nothing to be ashamed of, and nobody has to know either.
[Image: get.php?s=STEAM_0:1:15472195&b=9]
Make your own dynamic signature by clicking here.
The following 2 users Like SoulRipper's post:
  • RoCKy, Lewwings
#39
(11-22-2019, 11:33 AM)SoulRipper Wrote: Even though people you meet on FL are probably never to be seen IRL,it's good to have someone to talk to and who understands you.

Personally I would suggest to search help IRL, it would probably be the easiest way to accept your problems and work on them. It's also nothing to be ashamed of, and nobody has to know either.
Yes i know.. but in some point i am scared to tell my parents or anyone in IRL. I am actually scared of their reaction. Its hard to me to speak out in IRL. Thats how i am actually. My wish there would be someone who is on my side and who supports me. I am a person who needs the feeling to be loved or something like this in IRL. So i dont even care if i have a boy who supports me or if its a girl. I just want that his person understands me and that he/she would be here for me anytime :/
[Image: WbmV7IO.mp4]
#40
Stay positive soldier! If you want to chat hit me up!
The following 1 user Likes Montana's post:
  • RoCKy


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)