[Unofficial] Bones Appétit
#11
Looked great however I do not believe the doorman was very effective
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#12
(09-04-2019, 08:10 AM)digitalclock Wrote: Looked great however I do not believe the doorman was very effective

Bit hard when people decide they want to be spiderman and start scaling the walls.

It's actually the door that becomes ineffective, not the doorman.
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#13
(09-04-2019, 10:57 AM)Tomo Wrote:
(09-04-2019, 08:10 AM)digitalclock Wrote: Looked great however I do not believe the doorman was very effective

Bit hard when people decide they want to be spiderman and start scaling the walls.

It's actually the door that becomes ineffective, not the doorman.
nothing a rifle wouldnt fix
#14
Following my previous review on Bones Appetit, I was contacted by Mr. Richard Bones himself.

I believe that his threatening words tell the world the whole picture about this disgraceful cash-cow of a business.


Quote:Mr Richard Bones:
"I'll pay you 15k to write a positive article about Bones Appetit."

"You have to make another post
claiming that you were wrong and on reflection you had one of the best experiences of your life at Bones Appetit
Or I will sue for defamation"


I am not one to be thrown around by corporations, and so my lawyers will be in touch in due course.
Regards,
Connnnnnnn

Consider giving me a rep point here.

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#15
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Yet another successful opening for our newest restaurant based in the city of love itself, Paris.
Richard was kind enough to allow Bones Apetit to use his private jet to fly our A-list clients in and out
of San Ranevo airport.
 
Jacqueline Lacroix, our head chef in Paris, was truly in her element. Being in her homeland she
served up some truly french dishes, demonstrating her culinary ability to make even the likes
of frogs and snails taste good.
 
Here are some photos our personal photographer managed to capture.
 
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#16
Had the worst dining experience of my life, one of our members were almost stabbed by the chefs, we had no selection of food and could only be served one dish for each course, leftovers from a previous guest was on the table when we were seated, the waiters kept dropping the food onto us and they don't even know what McDonalds is!

I wouldn't even go to this place if I was being paid!
Pollux
Fearless Management
bork
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#17
If I join are you gonna give me a fucking roleplay point or not?
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#18
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Bones Appétit officially reopened tonight! We have a successful relaunch, bringing in world renowned food critics so that they can dish out exactly how good our cuisine truly is!

Citizens flocked to our doors, all wanting to see our very first v5p restaurant! However, only a select chosen few were allowed to be let in and see the beauty that lays within. Once inside, our guests were treated by a pre-selected three course meal, consisting of the finest ingredients, as well as finely aged alcohol and a traditional Hawaiian dance as entertainment.

For legal reasons, we do have to announce that there were three deaths at our establishment due to allergic reactions. This was caused by a mistranslation between our French chefs and our English speaking customers. Here at Bones Appétit, the only thing we have to comment is... natural selection.
 
Here are some photos our personal photographer managed to capture.

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#19
The Toblerone shoved into a pint of mint ice cream was truly to die for. In fact, three guests actually had. Certainly worth the 100k asking price, especially if you are kicked out half-way through your meal for being "loud" and "incredibly gay". A flamboyant man in a plastic suit deserves to eat his overpriced meal in peace and in comfort while sitting at a fine table, even if the meal he is being served looks and tastes like the fever dream of a cross-faded man traveling to 7/11 at 4am with his mates. While the smell of rotting corpses was disruptive, the wait service that kicked him out was even more so.

3/5 stars, there really is something for everyone, as long as you aren't a homosexual man covered in cling flim.
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