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+---- Thread: Storytime! TES Fans Only. (/showthread.php?tid=46826)
Storytime! TES Fans Only. - mgdwszx - 05-20-2014
I found this browsing the internet and I found it so funny. No credit towards me. You'll only understand if you've played Oblivion and Skyrim.
>Playing Oblivion
>Walking around the waterfront district trying to score Skooma
>See some shady crap happening in the background
>Black guy with a pony tail is holding a torch with hoodlums near him
>See if he has some dank kush
>He's in the thieves guild
>Ask him how to roll with the cool kids
>Tells me to steal some guy's diary
>"Can't kill other during this mission"
> I do what I want
>Ask hobo for directions
>Gives me HIV and tells me where to knick the diary
>Travel to the Temple District
>Elf beats me there
>Punch her in the back of the head inside the guys house
>She's unconcious
>I knock a bunch of crap over and the owner hears it
>Comes running downstairs like a mad vagina
>Guards storm in
>STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
>Punch the guard and run
>Catch the first wagon out of Cyrodiil
>Turns out it was a prison transport
>Guards haul me to Skyrim
>Some mad emperor is there, but he's gagged
>Get to Helgen keep
>Guy asks me what the fuck I'm doing there
>Try to tell him but some vagina interrupts him and sends me to the chopping block
>Right as I'm about to be executed a giant fucking bat flies in and murders everyone
>Escape from prison
>Find out I'm Dragonborn or some shit
>Kill giant dragon thing in Nord Heaven
>Absorb its entire lifeforce
>Leave the life of dragon hunting behind
>Start a family
>Wife gets pregnant
>Go to the village doctor for a checkup
>SUDDENLY LABOR
>Doctor yells that the baby is coming
>I'm so excited for this
>The head slowly pops out
>Cyrodiil Imperial guard slides out of my wifes vagina
>Arrests me and confiscated the diary
Fucking Imperial scum
RE: Storytime! TES Fans Only. - Jan - 05-20-2014
Funniest TES joke by far: The Elder Scrolls Online.